Leizo and Wicky

Observers in the Church
Leizo: “I found out that the longer you stay walking in the spirit the more you find yourself serving God.”
Wicky: “You are correct. I am experiencing the same.”
Leizo: “But it is very depressing to see some church people still doing nothing for God while they have been with us for many years.”
Wicky: “I wonder too. They seem to be good in making suggestions and good in planning but they’re gone when it comes to implementation.”
Leizo: “But yet they’re good in observing other church people.”
Wicky: “They are not servants but I have a name for them.”
Leizo: “What is it?”
Wicky: “obSERVANTS
Unidirectional Faith (One Way Faith)
Leizo: “Wicky, I have faith that in my financial difficulty God will help me. I have faith that this sickness I have God will heal me. I have faith that at all times God will protect me. He is a faithful God.”
Wicky: “I agree. But by faith you can boldly talk to your boss and ask him for the day off on church days so you can attend”
Leizo:” What? do you want me to lose my job? I cannot find another one like that!”
Wicky: “You know Liezo, I agree with your claiming of God’s help by faith but that’s a one way faith.”
Leizo: “What do you mean by that?”
Wicky: “Now, you see how little knowledge you have when it comes to God’s Word. In Hebrews 11, it gives us examples of people who have faith in God.”
Leizo: “Like what examples?”
Wicky: By faith Noah gave all his life in building the ark, by faith Abraham offered his only son Isaac as a sacrifice, by faith Moses despised all his comfort of Egypt and many more. Are the examples not clear enough that their faith made them do what God commanded to do. Faith is not only used when we want to receive from God but also when we are to give to God. You have faith that in your finances He will help you, that in your sickness He will heal you, that in troubles He will protect you, but what about your faith to give God your tithes and offerings? You should not claim that you gave God access to your heart unless you have given Him also the access to your bank account.”
The Church is Not Helping Our Kids at All
Leizo: “Four teenagers were pulled out from the church last Sunday.”
Wicky: “By whom?”
Leizo:” The parents of course!”
Wicky: “Why?”
Leizo: “They claimed that our church is not really helping them. Their kids are the same stubborn kids from day one.”
Wicky: “Well, where do their kids spend most of their time? they’re here for 1 hour Bible study and 1 hour worship a week and some parents don’t even come to church.”
Leizo: “I see your point, our church teaches to be serious in God but at home they see their parents not.”
Wicky: Right! the church is only a support Christian community, and the fact that parents are commanded by God to teach their children the Word of God makes them the responsible people to their children.”
Leizo: “Oh now I know, that’s why Deut 11:19 tells parents, You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”
Wicky: Most parents are either busy working or at home but busy on the phone while kids are busy watching TV, movie or playing their video games or both doing the same thing.”
Soldiers Without Leaders
Leizo: “Did you hear about Sister Kwit the wife of Brother Go?”
Wicky: “You mean the new couple who just left our church?”
Leizo: “Yeah.”
Wicky: “What about…”
Leizo: “The elders went to their house to talk to them about returning to church but they refused to.”
Wicky: “Ha Ha Ha, I know that couple from my previous churches. They hopped from one to another.”
Leizo: “So, they’re just like you.”
Wicky: No I have other reason but their complain is that every church they joined has a controlling Pastor.”
Leizo: “Ah, so they want to be soldiers of Christ but without a leader. Well, what about you, what is your reason?”
Wicky: I was diligently seeking for God for several years so I went from church to church.”
Leizo: “And you found God in this church right?
Wicky: As long as the Pastor will not preach on tithing.”
Absent in Church? Blame the Devil
Leizo: “Where were you last Sunday?”
Wicky: “The enemy made me feel so tired and I slept”
Leizo: “But were you really decided and determined to attend church that Sunday?”
Wicky: “Yeah, but the enemy kept me in bed, i rebuked him, i cast him out of my bedroom. Why do you not believe me?”
Leizo: “Wicky, the devil cannot do anything to stop us if we are really determined to do something, either to do good or to do bad.”
Wicky: “What are you trying to say.”
Leizo: “That even if the devil will do his best to get you up from bed to go to church, you will insist to stay in bed if that is what you are determined to do!”
The Seventh Day Church Members
Leizo: “Do you know that the seventh day church members are growing in numbers?”
Wicky: “Huh?, what is that seventh day church? is that a new denomination?”
Leizo: “No, these people are actually in every church of any denomination like in the Pentecostals, Baptists, Methodists, Lutherans, Evengelicals and Catholic churches.”
Wicky: “Hmm, I did not know that, but how will I know them?”
Leizo: “Simple, you will know them because they are those who participate in the planning of church projects but you will not see them in the implementation. They come when the work is completed and during celebration days.”
Wicky: “But why are they called seventh day church members?”
Leizo: “Remember the story of Joshua’s march around Jericho? they were commanded to shout at the seventh day after marching seven times and the wall of Jericho fell.”
Wicky: So, what’s your point?”
Leizo: “My point is that these people come only after the hardwork is done. They attend the celebration of those who did the hard work.”
The Later Day Saints
Leizo: “I have been coming to this church for 5 years now and I have noticed these members always come late. How can the Pastor put up with that?”
Wicky: “I don’t know. He is very patient with people and he even call them saints.”
Leizo: “What? saints? what kind of saints are they?”
Wicky: “The Later Day Saints.”
The Eighteists
Leizo: “How do you call those people who does not believe in God?”
Wicky: “Unbelievers?”
Leizo: “No, no, there is a name for them.”
Wicky: “Oh, yeah you’re right, ummm, atheist.”
Leizo: “Good! what about those who were supposed to come to church at 730 for Bible studies but keep coming at 8?”
Wicky: “Late comers?”
Leizo: “Nope, they’re called eighteist.”
Just Leave a Voicemail
Leizo: “I can’t attend the Bible Study tonight, what do I do?”
Wicky: “Why? aren’t you off today?”
Leizo: “Yeah, but this is the only day I can rest and I have a lot to do at home.”
Wicky: “Then call the Pastor and let him know.”
Leizo: “I am afraid he will pick up my call and tell me to come anyway.”
Wicky: “Then call his associate Pastor.”
Leizo: “But his attendance is poorer than mine and I’m not sure if he will be there tonight either, plus he does not pick up calls on Wednesday nights.”
Wicky: “Perfect! Just leave him a voicemail.”
Ananias Died but Sapphira Escaped Death, Thanks to SMS
Leizo: “There are too many liars in the church today.”
Wicky: “I know, it’s so frustrating.”
Leizo: “Its not longer the same like in the book of Acts.”
Wicky: “What about the book of Acts?”
Leizo: “You know that story about Ananias and Sapphira.”
Wicky: “What about it?”
Leizo: “Remember Ananias died because he lied to the disciples about the amount of money he donated to them?”
Wicky: “And then about 3 hours later his wife came and did the same and died also? of course i remember that story.”
Leizo: “Yeah, but my point is, that’s not going to happen anymore nowadays.”
Wicky: “Why?”
Leizo: “Because I am sure somebody will text Sapphira right away.”
Blonde Hair After a Long Prayer
Leizo: “Do you pray with your prayer partner over the phone?”
Wicky: “Yeah, every night before going to bed. Why?”
Leizo: “I do too but my partner is not that serious yet in our prayers.”
Wicky: “Why do you say that?”
Leizo: “She is not focus, not dedicated, not really in to it, I mean, she does other things while we pray. Too bad.”
Wicky: “How did you find out?”
Leizo: “I saw her today with blonde hair and she gave me an evil look.”
Wicky: “I don’t understand, what do you mean?”
Leizo: “She blamed me for the new color of her hair, she said she put chemical on her hair and was supposed to rinse it after 10 minutes but I prayed too long.”
Leizo: “You know Wicky, I have observed that many teachings of Jesus is about being a good servant”
Wicky: “You’re right, it’s true.”
Leizo:“One of my favorites is the parable of the talents.”
Wicky: “I like that too, I learned that if you do well, you will hear from the master WELL Done faithful servant, enter into the joy of your Lord.”
Leizo: “What about to the unfaithful servant?”
Wicky: “You’re gonna be WELL DONE!”
Serving Freshly Cooked Dish to the Brethren
Leizo: “Do you have lunch fellowship after church services.”
Wicky: “Oh yeah, lots of dishes.”
Leizo: “Do you also bring a dish?”
Wicky: “Uh huh, everybody does but I cook mine in the church’s slow cooker during service.”
Leizo: Wow that’s nice of you serving freshly cooked dish to the church.”
Wicky: “Well yeah but I’m actually saving electricity for my electric bill.”